you (can) make my dreams come true

last night i had a dream...

i was standing in front of Bi Rite Market, with a whole $hit ton of yummy walnut, whole wheat, and wonder bread that i'd made that afternoon with mine own bare hands:

i was giving samples to passersby, and one of them stops and looks at me all intense like this:

and then he eats a piece of bread and says, "holy motherf***er this is some crazy good bread man!! who in the hell are you?!?"

and i was all casual and cool and just like, "aw no biggie my man, i'm josey baker, i baked that myself cuz i'm obsessed with bread, and yea you can buy some if ya like, but no pressure dude, cuz bread is bread, and ya do what you do."

then the guy smiled at me like this all cute and weird:

and he bought a loaf of bread and skipped away.

it was super duper rad and some nice pretty folks even snuck me a little beer that we gobbled up right quick and then i woke up and had a big fat smile on my face.

make my dreams come true.

hope to see you hip cats there.

<3 josey

p.s. don't get worked up if you're not coming to Bi Rite, but are still wanting bread - my main man alex is holding down the fort at Mission Pie, so you can still roll over there for your bread fix

i no want yr stinkin paper monies (but i also do)

my great old friend mike came to town the other week:

he is awesome and crazy and we had an amazing time and he dug my bread.

anyway... back to the matter at hand!

at one point i toyed with the idea of not accepting cash for my bread. i wasn't gonna give it away for free (you wacko), but instead was only going to accept goods or services as trade. bread barter baby. i put this idea out there wayyy back when (last fall), and a few folks offered up some homemade goods.

but most people said, "jb you are such a friggin hippie. take this money and give me my bread and keep in touch about your tree huggin fantasies."

well, i haven't let go of this sweet idea, and from time to time the good people trade me some good stuff for my good bread.

my boy paxton hooked up some venison sausage, made from deer that he actually shot himself. (also featured in this pic is some home-made kimchi [i cannot for the life of me remember who gave it to us] and of course some jbb toast)

the awesome farmers at dinner bell farms traded me this incredible chicken for several loaves. (it was not cooked mind you, i did that with mine own hands)

and just the other night my super rad belgian buddies brought me incredible hot-outta-the-oven lemon lavender olive oil cookies (tho they refused to accept a loaf in exchange for their baked goods... the sweetest of hearts they have).

so let it be known my dear ones - if you got some goods that you wanna trade this lil baker boy for his bread, i'm all bout it. just holler at a brother. (i may not want to trade bread for your old socks, but it never hurts to ask.)

i'm off to soak in the healing waters of harbin hot springs for the weekend with this sweet sweet lady:

peace out hot dog

<3 josey

holy crap i'm on TV

i cannot believe it.
<3 josey

a bird pooped on my face and a ranger stole my bike but i'm okay with it all

we's gonna have ourselves a right wildeeness adventure! yeeehawwwww!

the bike camp adventure this past weekend was adventurous as a muhfuh. cathy, rafi and i sped northward on our trusty steeds and spent night numero uno at samuel p taylor. the day was mostly rad, not to mention an hour or two waiting for the rain to stop eating butterfingers in a convenience store.

we arrived safely at samuel p, ready to get down with mother nature and commence the chill...

but we weren't the only ones who had this very bright idea:

THESE SNEAKY RACCOONS STOLE OUR WHOLE WHEAT BREAD AND OUR CHOCOLATES WHILE WE WERE COOKIN OUR DINNER DOWN AT THE CAMP FIRE!

and get this - i chased them and yelled at them and even (don't get worked up) threw some rocks at them, and they just kinda wobbled around on their chocolate covered paws and stared at us with their beady eyes. i like raccoons, but i didn't like these raccoons.

anyway - we woke up ready to continue our adventure, and biked onwards to bass lake. (with a quick stop in bolinas where i iced (see def. #1) my bro rafi. thank you jed, i'm sorry rafi.)

fast forward to the following morning, where we are chillin at Bass Lake, cooking up eggs and coffee and feelin right and ready. i was sittin next to a tree when a bird up and pooped on my face:

what in the heck, right? i hear this is good luck in some cultures, so i chose to emphasize those cultures in the moment.

right. we rip and roar through the woods back to the dirt road and we're done the hard bike riding part and are feelin excited (cuz we kinda had a hunch that maybe we shouldn't be riding our bikes on this here trail) and B * A * M !!

the park ranger found us and said, "duhhhhhh, duhhhhh, duhhhhh."

translated: "we are confiscating your bicycles as it is illegal to possess bikes on this land and you can only get your bikes back after you pay $275 apiece and NO you cannot get them back now you must find your own way back to san francisco that's what you get for breaking the law... oh, and by the way, go ef yourself for saying that duhhhhh thing."

so we took a bus to sausalito, rode a ferry to sf, ate a cheeseburger at the ferry building, and BARTed home.

what the heck, it makes a good story.

love you babies

<3 josey

holy $hit that was the most ever

mother effer i gotta just say - SO TOTALLY TOTALLY AWESOME I WANNA KISS YOU ALL ON YOUR BREADCRUMB COVERED FACES. this week saw 320 loaves come and go. holy $hit. that's the most ever. i can't really believe it.

anyway, enough about all this bread... bread's boring. which is why i'm here to announce that i'm quitting.

i'm quitting to join the circus so i can practice backflips like this one (which i'll be the first to admit could use some work):

DON'T BE SILLY I'M NOT QUITTING! i'm just getting started. i wouldn't do that to you, no no NO.

but for real, i'm getting close to my limit for the amount of bread i can bake in a week. what will i do once i get there? that's a very good question!

my plan is to just keep doing my thing, making all the bread by my lonesome, and when i can't bake anymore, i can't bake anymore.

but "by my lonesome" is perhaps a bit misleading these days... i have the occasional helpful hand of my buddy Sophie at Mission Pie who knows way more about bread than i do:

and also my main man Alex who has been helping out with sales at MP:

these cats are killer, so if you see them around give them a loud slap high five (and then maybe a little pat on their heinie).

for the time being, i feel like the luckiest baker boy there ever was.

til soon cutie pies

<3 josey

bread & circuses

my lord, i'm so totally honored to be a part of the bay area's awesome community of bakers, as well as a part of isis' wonderfully thoughtful article about said community, featured on SFBlotter. thank you isis. check out some excerpts below, as well as a link to the whole thing...

~~~

There is a bustling, flour-dusted community of the wee morning hours, tucked away into glowing kitchens. From re-purposed turn of the century storefronts on the East Bay to barns in Sonoma to back yard cottages on the tip of Marin, all across the region, the Bay Area’s hearth-fires burn.

... there is another sort of baker, the child of the hybrid digital-DIY age. One such man is Josey Baker, the audacious fellow behind Josey Baker Bread. As his blog informs us, Josey is a self-taught, ad hoc baker who, through trial, error, and long hours with Chad’s bread bible Tartine Bread, has come to produce one of San Francisco’s most prized homegrown loaves...

{read on, curious reader...}

double drop kick right where it counts

man o man, i'm all wide eyed and smiley over here, cuz this is a big week for me. i'm going for a double drop kick right in life's balls this time, if ya know what i mean.

... ummm, no, actually i don't know what you mean... "double drop kick in life's balls?" who are you?

just a silly baker boy who can't stop baking bread, that's who.

before i explain what in the heck i'm talking about, i want to give a shout out to a rad man from the Bi Rite crew. for real - he's been the sweetest, coolest, most supportive guy on the block. he's what i like to call a heartbrother. throughout every conversation we've had, he's been super encouraging and always willing and able to think up creative solutions and it's shown me yet another reason why Bi Rite is such a rad place. his name's Raph, and this is what he looks like:

so, i have a favor to ask of you - if you see him around Bi Rite, blow him a kiss, and tell him josey baker sent you.

now back to that double drop kick talk... this wednesday and thursday @ 5pm there'll be a new bread on the shelves of Bi Rite. (it's mine!!!) there's a wee buzz in the air about this launch, so please o please, if you wanna be sure to get the bread, get there as close to 5pm as ya can. it pains my heart when folks are denied their daily bread, so save me some heartache and zip on over there to pick up your loaf.

HEY josey baker, you mentioned some sort of "secret special treat" for people who bought these first Bi Rite breads... what in the heck are you talking about???

well, that sure would be boring if i told you all the details, now wouldn't it? if'n you wanna find out, you know what to do. you'll be able to redeem a little coupon from the Bi Rite bread with me at Mission Pie, any W or Th from 5-9pm.

happy sunday honey pies.

<3 josey

Josey Baker Bread in BI RITE ! ! !

THE CAT IS OUTTA THE BAG THE TRAIN HAS LEFT THE STATION THE WOLVES HAVE BROKEN INTO THE HENHOUSE WAAAAHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

um, excuse me josey baker, what are you freakin out about???

OH NOTHING JUST THAT I'M GOING TO START SELLING MY BREAD AT A LITTLE PLACE CALLED BI RITE MARKET MOTHEREFFER YEESSSSSSSSSS! ! !

oh wow! now i see why you've been freakin out. good for you dude!

I KNOW RIGHT TOTALLY TOTALLY RIP ROARING AWESOME I AM FEELING LIKE I JUST MASTERED A TRIPLE BACK FLIP TWIST OFF A ROCKCLIFF THROUGH A HUGE WATERFALL OH MAN OH MAN OH MAN

well that's pretty amazing (and a little weird) and i'm wondering if you could calm down and actually tell me some of the details? maybe stop writing in all caps even?

STOP WRITING IN ALL CAPS WHY IN THE HECK WOULD I WANNA DO THAT I'M GONNA BE IN BI RITE WWWAAAAAHHHOOOOOOO

josey...

FINE.

starting in a week and a half, on Wednesday, May 25, my bread will be in Bi-Rite every Wednesday & Thursday evening @ 5pm. i'm working with SF bike messenger company TCB Courier, who are super duper cool, to bike the bread from Mission Pie hot outta the oven. in case ya don't know, Bi-Rite is on 18th St b/w Guerrero & Dolores.

the Bi-Rite bread schedule for now:

Wednesday, 5-9pm

• black pepper parmesan
• seed feast

Thursday, 5-9pm

• walnut levain
• whole wheat levain

and check this out - there are special treats in store for those who buy these first Bi-Rite breads... you'll be able to take the bread bag from Bi-Rite and bring it to Mission Pie, where i will trade you for secret treats. will tell you more about this soon.

but remember - this won't start for another week and a half. but get ready. and tell your friends. and your enemies. this is going to be awesome.

in case you couldn't tell, this is really big news for me, so again, as always, THANK YOU for your support. it makes me feel very special.

hearts & rainbows,

josey

bread needs vacation too

holy gosh darn moly, i am L*O*V*I*N*G these super sunny days these days. are you? (if not, you need to get your noggin right outta your bum, cuz this is rad)

this past weekend i rode my new bicycle:

down to half moon bay and slept on the beach with my main man rafi. when we got to pacifica we rode on the old highway 1, otherwise known as "planet of the apes." amazing!

this section of overgrown and broken down concrete winds its way up a ridge, curling away from the ocean, and then spitting you out on top where you can stare off into the distance and be blown away by how mothereffing gorgeous california is while also catching your breath before your head explodes.

you can also stop to play toss with a loaf of country levain...

can you spot the loaf of bread? look closely! its in there... scroll down the bottom of post to see.

we rode down a very rutted out dirt path, only to find that a big fence was trying to stop us from getting back on to the new highway 1. oh no you don't fence! we'll climb you right quick and then laugh in your stupid fence face!

raf and i jumped the fence with cat-like agility:

but the fence got pissed and laid the smack down on my new bike:

anyway - we rode on and on, ate delicious hamburgers, i slept til 11 the next morning (what?!?), laughed uncontrollably for hours, and made it back in time to go to Mission Chinese for dinner Saturday night.

i love california.

check ya soon doggies

<3 josey

here's a close up of the bread in mid flight:

yes, we are playing toss and catch with a loaf of country levain. so what? bread needs to have fun too.

i be eatin with abs

abigail wick reached out to me a few weeks ago, asking if i'd be interested in being a guest columnist on her blog, Eating With Abs.

a guest columnist?!? ME??? heck yes i'm interested. (i'd never done such a thing, nor had i ever envisioned doing such a thing, but ya just never know where you're gonna end up now, do ya?)

so... i whipped up a few words about my breadjourney thus far, and i'll be damned, she just posted that whole darn thing, right up there.

if'n you're looking for something to do (other than tell your mother how much you love and miss her) then give it a look see.

i'm off to tell my mother and stepmother how much i love and miss them.

<3 josey

what happens when you're sleeping

hopefully you were having sweet sweet summertime dreams this morning.

me? what was i doing, you query? no sleep, no way. it's boring.

but check out what i WAS doin...

i require something with a little more kick (name that awesome 80's flick [this one is for you brother]):

and then i went like this, cuz it's what feist makes me do (but only when nobody is around... yea right i wish i was in front of a million people doing this):

and look what i made! holy crap, every time i can't believe that the magic happens! YES YES YES!!!

rock hard this weekend kiddies. i'm out for a bike camp adventure with my boy rafi ON BICYCLES HE BUILT WITH HIS MAN HANDS.

friggin a right, here's to makers of all shapes and sizes.

<3 josey

don't worry, i will keep these people away from your bread

(every dough is special in its own special way)

special thanks to my bud Jamie out in NYC for snapping and sending this one along.

just in case you were wondering: the act of "retarding" dough is a common practice in baking in which you place dough in a cooler environment (somewhere around 40-60F), thereby slowing the whole process down. ya see, yeasties get all hyped up in warmer temps - produce gas faster - so if you stick some dough in what is essentially a fridge (dough retarders also have humidity control), you can slow down the fermentation, and then take a nap while the dough gets retarded. while retarding may have negative connotations in certain social circles with regard to humans, retarding dough is widely accepted in baking circles as increasing favorable characteristics of bread, especially sourdough bread.

love ya cuties

<3 josey

people are putting bacon in everything

there's bacon donuts, bacon muffins, bacon coffee, bacon salt...

and now, emmer-effers, there's bacon bread.

and not just bacon bread mind you, MAPLE BACON LEVAIN.

holy effing crap josey baker, you are one wild S O B! where o where can i get this wacky and delicious sounding creation of yours?!?

wednesday night at Mission Pie, you little piggy.

see you soon

<3 josey

p.s. i made some french toast in the manner described by Mr. Chad Robertson in Tartine Bread. totally awesome. you should do it too.

it'll make you look like this:

a tearful goodbye & a proud new beginning

another chapter comes to a close my friends - the evenings of both liquid and solid bread at Amnesia are no more. i'll be shifting my shift to one night earlier in the week (mother effing free bluegrass monday night sucka what?!?) and hence, shall no longer be slangin my breads outta the lovely little red room.

this simultaneously makes me giggle with glee, and quietly weep.

i have to THANK YOU all for all of the loaves you loved while drunkenly mumbling at that copper tabletop. i woulda never gotten to where i am now without your help, so please please PLEASE accept my heartfelt gratitude.

AND COME PARTY WITH ME ON MONDAY NIGHTS WHERE THE DEER AND THE ANTELOPE PLAYYYYYYYYY

<3 josey

i just pulled a DOUBLEJK on your a$s

check these totally *R*A*D* photos that Anita Bowen snapped at Mission Pie! girl's got some skillz, i tell you what.

-when i'm loading the loaves in the oven i literally feel high, as is evidenced in this photo -

(she makes me look way cooler than i am in real life.)

(jk i'm the coolest real life baker you'll ever meet.)

(that would be very egotistical of me to say, now wouldn't it??)

(but that's why i'm pulling a DOUBLEJK on your a$s! WHACK!)

(DOUBLEJK?!? i ain't never heard of a DOUBLEJK!)

(that's cuz i just made that $hit up.)

(can i see the friggin photos already?!?!? and what's with every line being in parentheses???)

(i don't know, i'm just gettin free on ya, that's all. why don't you just eat a piece of toast and silently appreciate the world.)

(just show me the photos you butthead.)

(fine.)

my girl sophie's got my back -
all pumped up on the imminent bake -

gettin all Zoro styleee -

I F***ING LOVE BREAD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

<3 josey

rooftops are awesome...

if they're in Newfoundland, and your brother is peaking out of the window right next to you.

but rooftops are also awesome when they're on top of SFMOMA.

i had a totally wonderful time this last thursday night at MeatPaper's last SFMOMA Rooftop event. there was delicious food from Leif Hedendal, Gypsy Kitchen, Leah Rosenberg of Blue Bottle Coffee, and last but not least, some scumptious goodies I made with the help of Morgan Maki and Linh Phu of Bi-Rite Market.

you can check out some photos and words about it here.

Morgan and Linh whipped up some crazy good tidbits to put atop pieces of my country levain - coppa (which Morgan cured himself), pickled spring veggies, and an A M A Z I N G calendula flower pesto.

and speaking of Bi-Rite... a little bird flew by my window the other day and said that Josey Baker Bread may start showing up on the shelves in about a month. keep your ears peeled for that little bird...

<3 josey

bigger than a bearbox?

my rad lady cathy and i spent the weekend camping down south, at pinnacles national monument. we had a totally awesome time, and we even solved one of life's little mysteries...

are you bigger than a bearbox?

what bearbox jo? that one right behind me?

only one way to find out...

hmmm, that's pretty small... but i ain't scared of no ghosts:

well i'll be damned:

she is fully inside (i swear its true):

mystery solved - cathy is indeed NOT bigger than a bearbox.

but we got another question we need to answer: is josey baker bigger than a bearbox?

see for yourself:

moral of the story - go away with your lover and do silly things like trying to fit into bearboxes. it's fun and funny.

<3 josey

i eat too many sandwiches...

and you should too. yummy scrumptious loved up sandwiches, just like this one:

but where o where in the heck did that sandwich come from josey baker?? and WHO made that SEXYASS bread?!?

oh stop it you.

my man Jeff over at Pal's Take Away at 24th & Hampshire (inside Tony's Market) makes some crazy ass delicious sandwiches. he's a rad dude, going out of his way to source from small-scale local producers, change his menu every single day, and make a lot of his fixin's himself.

and now he's using my bread to make sandwiches on Tuesdays. this pumps me up, big time.

what's he makin tomorrow? now now my beauties, you mustn't be impatient. (all i can say is he's using my black pepper parmesan bread o baby baby BABY) take a deep breath and check in tomorrow and if the spirit moves you, pedal your heinie right over there and get one. but a word to the wise - he sells out fast, so get over there around high noon to be sure to get them goods. you can also call ahead - 415 203 4911.

tell him josey baker sent you.

<3 josey

bread porn: issue 4, volume 3

things got a little out of control this morning... i think i found god.

but i'm getting ahead of myself here.

three little loaves and me had a fantastic time -

they just loved getting their photos taken. they even got naked for me -

here's wonderbread showing off:

and walnut levain, looking dapper as ever:

oh whole wheat, you are so coy:

and finally, some straight up mugshots of the three guilty parties -

check ya soon beautiful babies

<3 josey

adventures of mossy swami

alright dudes, come on a fantastic voyage with me -

big basin woods, the sun has set, i'm huddled around the campfire with fellow heartbrothers nat and brendan...

and we're all like, "damn these woods and fire and so wonderful and peaceful and i'm feelin realll goooood... but those god damn lights from the bathroom are annoying the $hit out of me."

cue art project #1 idea - makeshift lampshade.

* B * A * M *

how in the heck did i do that?

i went scrounging around, jumped in the dumpster and found an old styrofoam cooler than some fool had tossed.

total peace stylee.

we romp around the woods, wrestle with sticks, lay in the dirt, so forth and so on, then we're back at the fire, and we're all like, "damn i'm feelin like a mossy swami right now all in touch with the dirt gods... but there's another god damn light from the bathroom annoying the $hit out of me."

cue art project #2 like what - makeshift lampshade numero dos.

* B * A * M *

how in the frikkin heck did i do that???

don't ef with a good thing - went back to the dumpster and found the top of the aforementioned discarded cooler. did some MacGyver type $hit with some rocks to get this one to stay on the light.

life's puzzles were meant for the solving sucka.

<3 josey