this whole pizza thing is getting out of control... and we like it that way / by joseybakerbread

hi honey pies i'm gettin ready to jump in my truck and head down to LA for a bunch of book parties, but i just had to share some exciting stuff with y'alls.

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we've been peeing our pants with joy at the popularity of Monday Night Pizza... speaking of which, check this ridiculously rad graphic that the handsome + talented RJ Rabe just whipped up out of the bytes floating around in the ether -

mnp

(there may or may not be some posters in the works, stay tuned)

but let's quit kissing each other's butts for a second, eh? you've been very patient and understanding when it's taken us a bit too long to get you the goods. we've been making just as much pizza just as fast as we can, but we're in the process of re-imagining some stuff, which is gonna hopefully allow us to feed more people faster...

and in truth i am kinda jumping the gun on telling you all this, but i just can't help myself, because i wanna make sure that y'all keep coming over on Monday nights and that you're not deterred from waiting a half hour for your cheesy goodness... just don't you dare give up on us and start saying stuff like, "oh yeah, Monday Night Pizza at The Mill? it tastes so frikkin good, but i ain't gonna go back cuz i don't like waiting that long for my pizza."

instead, i want you to say stuff like, "oh yeah, Monday Night Pizza at The Mill? it tastes so frikkin good and i go all the time, just cuz i love it so so so much, it's my favorite god damn pizza in the Universe."

speaking of the Universe, when i was out on a river in the foothills the other week, which looked like this -

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i was staring at the stars and pondering how they all look so similar to us, but in reality they have so many humongous differences between them. i mean, it's kinda crazy - we look up at the night sky, and we see a sea of stars, and they all just look like variations on a theme... but there's some unbelievably diverse stuff going on out there, we just can't see it with our wimpy little human eyes... check this out -

new hubble image_lg

ummmm, what are you even talking about?

hey now, come on, i was purposefully trying to spice things up because i figured you may be getting bored with all this pizza talk... i was leaving out some of the technical stuff because i figured you actually weren't that interested...

well, i might be interested, if you say it in an interesting way...?

ok, i'll try. just don't be a jerk about it, k?

can't promise you anything. 

wait a sec, hold on - you can't promise me anything? well that's screwed up, you should be able to promise some things... are you an all around untrustworthy person, unable to make promises??

you're off topic baker boy, get to the point. 

right. so - thus far we have incorporated all of the pizza dough mixing into the rest of our dough mixing, but what we're about to do is -

zzzzzzzzzzzz.

i told you it was gonna be boring!!

make it better. 

god, just look at this -

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we're gonna start making a special kind of pizza dough, a top secret sourdough pizza dough that we'll be able to make exactly the way we want, no compromises, no if's/and's/but's about it. and we're gonna be able to make more of it. and at some point we'll start serving pizza sooner in the evening. ya feel me??!?

ok, this is kind of interesting... what's the big deal. 

we will imbue our pizza dough with our massive spirit and bless it with rainbow power and it will make you 10% smarter every slice that you eat. so keep it coming sweethearts. because at the end of the day we all just wanna be loved. am i right?

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now we're talking.

i'm outta here.

<3 j